Tuesday, 31 March 2015



I walked into the pharmacy, past the scented shelves, ambled shyly to the whiter than white medical counter, passing over my crumbled up prescription. The pharmacist smiled warmly, “Des, you need some happy pills today?!” 
I coughed, a feeble attempt to distract my moment of embarrassment. “Yes” I whispered, out of a dry throat. My mind racing, “Jesus, should it be this difficult to get a pill to make me happy?” Of course, it is a fair comment, especially when the person waiting, nourishes themselves on the 3 minute microwave approach to happiness. 

In my little fictional story, my quest was to acquire, a pill to simply, make me happy. 

Such a pill will NEVER exist. The volume of people using prescription medication on a regular basis is on the increase. The pursuit of the elusive happy life lived. 

So, if there are no REAL happy pills, what is the alternative? The alternative is found in the single common, constant factor, in the life you live, multiplied by a sense of true and honest purpose, creates happiness. 

Complicated? Not Really.

·        The Common constant factor is YOU

·        Multiplied by a purpose / action

·        Equals happiness 

So it is not so much a prescription, as a mathematical solution.

You make a LIFE CHOICE (What do I need to change?)
What ACTION will make my life choice a reality?
What evidence will I need to see to KNOW IT HAS WORKED?

This blog was inspired by a client following these steps. I admire you, you inspire me.
Email: des@descanning.com

Monday, 30 June 2014

Remember to put the glass down.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!


Wednesday, 11 June 2014

The Art of Living

“A painter should begin every canvas with a wash of black, because all things in nature are dark except where exposed by the light.” Leonardo da Vinci.

Andres Amador, 42, creates designs on beaches from California to the Carribean which often cover a space as large as a football field.

They are raked into beach sand and are sometimes spontaneous and free-flowing, sometimes geometric and precise. Andre calls himself an "Earthscape Artist" designing fleeting beach artworks. 

Imagine, spending all that time working diligently on a specific project, to witness it being literally washed away in front of your eyes! And yet, this is the how Andres works.  The beauty, however, is always fleeting, waiting to be washed away. When the tide takes away his work, he is left with a blank slate to start again. Andre Amador was educated as an environmental scientist and previously worked in computer programming.

He gave up his job 10 years ago to pursue his artistic passion. He uses a camera mounted on a quad-copter to take high sky images of his designs, which he then sells online.

So, the next time you feel like screaming in frustration at a project going wrong, or you are feeling empty when a relationship or friendship ends. Consider, Andre Amador, he creates beauty and is content when nature removes it, why? I guess so he can look forward to starting the whole process all over again. 

Sunday, 26 January 2014


Key Words in this Blog, respectively disagree - there is always an underlying reason - deny a personal truth - need to compensate for pain – release pain privately - a place to belong - false sense of feeling loved or liked - I am not the only one -faceless place - false identity -searching to discover a true identity of self - accept it exists - in the eyes of the world she had everything but she didn’t - not understanding why - not feeling wanted.

When a person intentionally hurts themselves it can be a way to express difficult emotions. Self-harm can be used as a means of releasing pent-up feelings of pain, anxiety, distress or anger. It is used as a way to cope.  But there are other ways of coping. 

·        Talk to a family member or a good friend
o   You might be worried about their reaction and afraid they’ll think you’re just looking for attention. It’s very likely, however, that they’ll honour your trust with kindness, compassion and love.
·        Talk to a therapist
o   Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than to relatives or friends. During talking therapy, a trained therapist listens to you and helps you find your own answers to problems, without judging you. The therapist will give you time to talk, cry, shout or just think. It’s an opportunity to look at your pain in a different way with someone who’ll respect and encourage you. 

15 year old Tallulah Wilson’s recent suicide has propelled self-harm back into the headlines. Journalist, Sarah Rainey writing in a recent article in The Telegraph Newspaper directs criticism and an element of responsibility towards the many Pro Self-Harm sites which have sprung up online. 

Yes – Pro Self-Harm sites are dangerous but I would respectively disagree that they are entirely to blame. We do not know why Tallulah was hurting herself and indeed it may be fair to say Tallulah may not have consciously known why she consistently harmed or injured her body. What we do know, from historical accounts provided by those affected is that there is always an underlying reason. When we deny a personal truth, we generally need to compensate for pain, by numbing the pain with alcohol or drugs. This has changed in recent times; self-harm has partly replaced substance abuse, why? It is more accessible, every home has sharp objects, a teenager does not have to leave the safety of their own bedroom, and they can release pain privately. No-one ever needs to know. 

So, why are the forums filled with so many teenagers telling their stories? It creates a place to belong. The forums are a community, creating a false sense of feeling loved or liked.  The forum initially demonstrates to the person self-harming, I am not the only one. Alas even in such a faceless place as the internet, the person may create a false identity, moving to a new level of escapism while searching to discover a true identity of self

We as parents are a peculiar bunch, we baulk at the possibility of something dark or dirty living in our families. Take the simple head-lice; have you ever said this as a parent? Or heard it said when a parent discovers the lice on their child’s head! “Ah head-lice only live in healthy clean heads ya know” Instead of making excuses we need to accept it exists then move to actively do something about it. 

Tallulah Wilson had a private school education, in the eyes of the world, she had everything, but she didn’t. We as parents work hard to provide for our young, we make sacrifices we work long hours. And herein can reside part of the difficulty, if you are a parent reading this; cast your mind back to your childhood, the best and the worst. The best may have been times of togetherness and the worst may have been times of separation. If you are a teenager reading this, cast your mind back into the recent years the best and the worst. The best may have been times of acceptance and togetherness and the worst may have been separation and not understanding why. And feeling the events are a reflection of you not feeling wanted. 

If you are self-harming the best way of dealing with it is to TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK and if you feel no-one is listening, then KEEP TALKING UNTIL SOMEONE HEARS YOU.

Blame is a worthless exercise; it achieves nothing, as parents don’t be afraid to acknowledge a problem, as teenagers don’t be afraid to speak your truth.

Monday, 6 January 2014

Find someone you can talk to honestly.

January brings challenges, social media; print media is filled with nutritional advice and exercise programs. Resolutions are the order of the day…………………….BUT, what if this sounds like you?

“I do my best, but recently I find it difficult to get stuff done. Getting out of bed is difficult now, it feels like I am ‘just getting by’, I’ve also started to feel as if I am losing my sense of self; my friends are oblivious to my difficulties. I find myself being constantly negative about friends and family. I don’t like the person I am becoming, it’s like being pulled down into a deep black hole and there is nothing I can do about it. How can I get back to being the old me?”

How can you get back to being the old you?
The answer
Find someone you can talk to honestly.

It might seem like a very simplistic answer, but, most effective methods ‘of being’ are simple. Those of you old enough to remember will recall a character created by the Irish comedian Brendan Grace, called Bottler. It is a great word in the context of bottling up feelings and emotions.

So ask yourself
Are you a Bottler?
Do you bottle up feelings and emotions?

The Benefits of Talking to Someone.

  •  It gives you space in your head, rolling the same difficulty, round and round in your head is very tiring and energy sapping, talking will free up some much needed space in your thoughts.

  •  It will put things in perspective, or more likely, put things in a NEW perspective, by keeping things to yourself, you may have started to feel overwhelmed, talking to someone outside your situation will create a more objective view.

  •  It releases tension, carrying a worry on your shoulders every day, creates a lot of physical tension too. You’d be amazed at what a release it can be to get things off your chest – your muscles can relax a bit, and you can literally feel like a weight has been lifted. And feeling good physically makes you feel better mentally. 

Website: www.descanning.com
Email: des@descanning.com
Mobile: 085-7100100